Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
