I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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