she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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