I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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