And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
