just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
