I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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