it wasn't lemon gatorade
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
