dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
