there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
