is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
