Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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