he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
