Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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