i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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