Come see our sink grown plant.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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