Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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