That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
