I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
