I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize