so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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