Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize