guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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