Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
50% drunk capacity currently
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
