Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
