I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
if i died would you start the facebook group?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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