i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
