I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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