Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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