When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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