you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
