cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
