dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Fuck appropriateness.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
