Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
