Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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