You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
