Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
