I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
