You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
