Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
