So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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