I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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