I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
