Can Purell be used as lube?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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