this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
