some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
