she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
