Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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