yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
