I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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