let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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