saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
