who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
