in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
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Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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