We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
