Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
