i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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