We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize