Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
