he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want to have your abortion
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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