We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
