It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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