i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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