New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
