I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
