i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
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At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
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My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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