So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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