'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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