dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
