i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
